If my words did glow

I was staying at a friend's house out in the country. We went over to his other friend's house, a guy named Kevin, next door and played what looked like a Dreamcast that played Skyrim... At one point I went back to the first guy's house and fell asleep in this shed outside his house, and got trapped in my dreams... I would keep waking up in either that dream or what I thought was real life (might have been). But when I woke up in either, I was too tired to move... my body was too heavy.

I got tired of it at one point, because I'd keep reliving the same experience- I'd wake up and try moving, peering out from my slit in the blankets to see where I was... and my buddy would slowly get out of bed, so I'd call for him for help... then I'd slip back asleep and wake up at home, but I'd be too tired to move there, either.  Both felt incredibly real...

At one point after doing this over and over again, I had enough power to get up and make it to the door at my friend's place... He told me I had puked twice and they had to drag me back to his house from my other friends, and that my other friend's mom didn't want me going over there anymore... and that I puked again when I got back to his house... it was kinda weird cuz I was wearing a shirt I usually always wear.

This repeated once or twice more; one time I had the power to get up on my own, and I went outside, where it was snowy... it felt cold outside, and I had my usual senses about me although sluggish, like I had really just woken up... I even told my friend about all the other dreams I (actually really did) have that night, like this dream about being Hojo and trying to shoot down a flying Weapon/Bahamut monster with my modified Junon cannon while the soldiers backed me up in distracting it between reloads. I also was gonna tell him about this other dream I had to go with my family or some friends to a Slipknot concert in Phoenix, though it was more like a Kansas rap band, with standup basses and CCR-lookin dudes singing rap songs. We even went back over to Kevin's house, and I interrupted what looked like Bob Saget and his son playing friggin soccer lol.

Anyways, the last and final time I woke up at my friends' house, I was aware that I was stuck between two worlds, too tired to truly wake up in either... I really felt like both worlds were real, and it was a matter of volition to 'wake up' in either... Well, if I had the friggin power to do so.

But it really depressed me and I was a bit freaked out about it so I said 'fuck it' and went outside, and plopped face first in the snow... the snow was as cold as I thought it would be and as wet and frigid to the touch... but it was welcome because I felt so devoid of all feeling and hope... I rolled back around and looked up at the sky... I felt so alone and distraught, unable to cry but able to choke up about it, like a hiccup of anguish... I saw the sun and the sky through some branches... it looked beautiful.  I thought, if I'm stuck here, at least it is somewhere so beautiful... and if I can't cry, well I can sing...

So I started to sing 'Box of Rain' by the Dead and... the cold and lack of feeling felt okay for a while... the sky was bright blue all around the sun... the sun was empowering to look at... I felt like the world and the sun especially appreciated my gesture... the sky, as i focused on it more, got more detailed... it was cool because past the light blue area around the sun, there were these streaks of clouds, looking like asteroid trails or meteor trails, but all white, spreading out from the sun like the sun rays had turned to clouds entering the atmosphere... and past them were some soft, fluffy clouds intermixed with more light blue sky... for a day supposedly in Winter, it really was beautiful...

The song got near the second half and it changed to 'Ripple'... I think I started to cry when I got to the last verse of the song, a bit about taking everyone home if you only knew the way...  I decided I'd rather wake up at my house though... so next time I slipped back to my house, I said FUCK THIS SHIT! And rollllllled up outta bed... I can't imagine what would have happened if I had stayed layin down. But then again I can't imagine what will happen now that I've woken up, either. And who KNOWS what would have happened if I had woken up over there though...